Kids Costumes Suck Nowadays- Come On, Parents!!

Tonight is Halloween and, in typical C fashion, I spent the evening stressing out and poring over a Chemistry take home that made me very seriously consider suicide. Chemistry is not my cup of tea and if I fail the world might just actually and finally end. I'm sort of surprised that it hasn't before. I wonder what it all means...

After I sat down and got all my notes spread out on the table and had my tea and honey and pens and calculator, someone rang the doorbell. I wondered if they were selling Girl Scout cookies or something. That's how much Chemistry fucks up my brain. When I opened the door there was a cute little kid in a tiger costume. I had to apologetically tell his mom I didn't have any candy. Which sucked. So I grabbed my keys and drove down the road and grabbed some and came back and pulled over near the family, who was putting the baby carriage away in their trunk and who were also now looking rather confused. I told them how I'd meant to get candy but forgot and they reminded me so here it was. I didn't want to be the weak house who had the lights on but was not handing out candy.

Some little kids came by and were super cute, but some big kids who I never see around the complex were doing the rounds too and they were much less pleasurable to give candy to. They only looked down at their bags and their outfits were lame 50% of the time. The first larger little turd was just wearing a red shirt with numbers across the front. I guess he was an inmate? I don't know. What I do know is that my mom used to slave over a sewing machine on the floor of our den for weeks to make quality costumes out of fabric and patterns. Everything I ever wore for Halloween was hand-made by my mom. So, let's see how much I can remember.

Years Old:

1. Pumpkin

2. Elf

3. Nun

4. Fairy Princess (I couldn't decide which one.)

5. Wonder Woman

6. Wonder Woman again

7. Stegosaurus (The costume was purple with yellow spikes and plates and some kids dad during the school Halloween parade said to his kid, "Look, its Barney!" and I was so pissed. Barney is a purple and green Tyrannosaurus rex with yellow spots Goddamnit. Don't you fools know the difference??)

By the way, I just realized right now that the name "Tyrannosaurus Rex" is derived from the word "Tyranny". Wow, this is one of my Cheerios moments. And also, how the fuck did my mom sew upright-standing stegosaurus plates?

8. Jasmine (of Aladdin fame)

9. Jasmine again, cause why the hell not.

10. ?

11. ?

12. Witch

13. Witch

And then in more recent years- I was a genie my Junior year and I looked DAMN GOOD. I was going to be Bettie Page senior year, but I wasn't confident about my homemade top, despite the fact that it made my boobs look crazy good. Last year I threw together a last minute Cruella DeVille and a customer at work told me how that's who his 10 year old daughter was going as this year. Figuresss. This year I'm going as Aeon Flux and I hope to god I don't gain 5 pounds in the next 24 hours. I think I'd definitely have to kill myself then. Or drink copious amounts, which I might do anyways. Hey, I guess it'll all work out!

By the way, what was everyone else?

Parents Can: Be Lying Jerks/ Make Things Interesting

This is another story about the bullshit my parents fed me when I was little that I wholeheartedly believed until I was told otherwise years later.

When I was about 4, my father started quizzing me on three questions. He said it was very important to know the answers to these questions because if you didn't you could not graduate from pre-school. The questions were these:

1) Who is the greatest band of all time?
2) Who is the greatest solo artist of all time?
3) Who won Wimbleton in 1987?

The answers were as such:

1) The Beatles
2) Bruce Springsteen
3) Jimmy Connors

Can you guess what we listened to in the car on roadtrips?

Anyways, I believed him when he said one had to possess this knowledge in order to make it out of pre-school, but since I was 4 it didn't really concern me too much. Plus, I always knew the first two. I only forgot the second repeatedly. One day nearing the end of the year, my father came early to pick me up. He sat on one of those tiny chairs while he waited for class to finish up and the teachers all sat us down in a group to talk to us.

They said, "Today, we have three questions for you. Number 1: Who is the greatest band of all time?"
I raised my hand and they let me answer, "The Beatles."
"Good. Now, who is the greatest solo artist of all time?"
I raised my hand again and got to answer, "Bruce Springsteen."
They asked about Wimbleton too, of course, and I failed my father by completely blanking. Johnny something? Some boy in the class knew it was Jimmy Connors. I knew I was fine nailing 2 out of 3 and thought it was funny how they really did ask those questions in pre-school.

Not that I thought about it often enough to have come to any kind of realization, but it was at least 5 or 6 years before my father told me that he had come in early and requested that the teachers ask us all that and it was only at that point that I knew the truth.

Don't think for a second I won't mess with my own kids like that because I fully intend to if I ever have any.

Me and D Rip Apart a Video

D: You know the song

D: but the video elevates it to an entirely different level.

D: Total Eclipse of the Heart

C: I definitely remember this gem

D: Have you seen the video?

C: yes

C: it was on all the time in the 90s

D: because if the song is a gem the video is crown jewels

C: I love the blown open shirts

D: Ahaha, and the absurd dance numbers.

C: dancing ninjas. Nice touch

D: Pornography has a more coherent plot

C: yah hahaha

C: is she supposed to be a teacher at a boarding school for nocturnal gay men?

C: they learn to make shoulder pads there. It's a vocational school despite all the extracurricular activities

D: I'm not sure, honestly.

D: It would make a fantastic porno

D: By fantastic I mean fantastically kitschy

Buddhist Wisdom

I'm going to start putting daily quotes from the little Buddhist Wisdom book I bought as my "about me" every day.

This Is Why the World Hates Us

Hm, so I have a post to write but first I have a quick disclaimer. Since yesterday I've been getting a sharp, throbbing pain in the back right of my head in just one particular spot. Its very random, so if I suddenly stop writing, you can just assume I've had an aneurysm. Now then! Moving on!

So I went to the mall yesterday. It was awful. The mall used to be so fun. I was never a mallrat, but it might've been different if I had one solid family living in one spot near my friends. Speaking of which, just to digress for a moment, I'm currently dealing with a situation which I will describe in a second, private post, because I have a particular policy on here. It will be the starred post; use this link and if you want to read it then friend me or whatever. ::Link will go up soon:: Anyways, the trouble started the second I was in sight of the mall. By the way, Old Navy went well and I got my Halloween costume and its hot without being whore-ish. Sort of. Hehe. I was driving in the leftish-straight (shut up, Boyfriend) lane and I needed to merge right for the upcoming right turn I needed. The light turned green and I put on my blinker and pulled forward. The car to my right could've sped up or slowed down, but instead in ran right next to me. I sped up to pull right in the front, so it sped up. I slowed down to see about getting behind it, but, seeing how I was not trying to get in front of it anymore, it slowed down. I sped up again to get into the lane, so they sped up. God I really do fucking hate people so much. So I missed my turn and had to find a different way in, which wasn't very hard but its the idea of it. If people could ever cooperate and be civil we'd get so much more done. I have my own policy and, while its also critique worthy by some, it makes sense to me. Here it is: If you don't have your blinker on, you're an incompetant asshole and I'm not slowing down to make room for you to cut me off with about 3 inches between our cars. If your blinker is on, I will manuever my car to help you be where you'd like to be. Unless you're a shitty driver and then I'd be afraid to have you anywhere near me so pull into my lane at a significant distance behind me please and thank you.

So I had now made it into the parking garage. Why is she writing about the parking garage, you ask. Well, because the idiocy just seems to multiply once you get into a parking area. This was no exception and I was on the first floor just 2 seconds into the garage itself before I came in contact with an idiot. It was one of those people who sees someone pulling out of their parking spot and recognizes opportunity. Except they were also the kind of person who doesn't back up and make room for you to reverse out of the spot but instead pulls up on your ass and sits right in your way. I drove up and it was then that they decided to back up about a foot. They had plenty of room, as I was not too close yet, but once they parked themselves for good (still in the other driver's way) I started feeling like a jerk and drove right on up. They still had room enough to back up some more, but not the plentiful amount of space that they'd had originally when it would've made fucking sense. So. Fuck them. Finally the poor driver of the smushed in car got out and drove away and I was free to go on my way. Except not, cause someone didn't know how to pull forward into a parking space. ARRRGGGHHHHH. Before she (yah, I said it) could pull back up and make a twenty-point turn I snuck around and parked myself a few yards away. Not to sound like a dick, but I saw the woman (of course) getting out of the car and walking across the parking lot and it was worse than I thought and since I'm not the only asshole around here I'll just let you deduce what that meant.

So holy shit! I made it inside! Finally! I walked though JC Penney and that was pretty horrible in itself. I saw a fleece sweater, made for an adult woman, with a frosted blue and turquoise and rhinestone snowflake pattern on it that would've been only borderline acceptable in 1991...for a ten year old. Or maybe your grandma. Jesus JC Penney! At least try to pretend your customers have some fashion sense! And just an fyi, I was wearing Step-Dad's old sweatpants, rolled at the waist, with a tank top and a sweatshirt my Boyfriend used to wear in highschool. That his mom got from a consignment shop. That now has stains on it from paint and probably maybe food or something that I've dropped on it. And I've sneezed on it in the recent past because I had a cold. I don't think that stained, I guess its just sort of gross. And I was still stylin' enough to make fun of the items in JC Penney. That's bad. I tried to take a picture of the aforementioned sweater, but my cell phone is retarded and it wouldn't let me. I've deleted like twenty pictures and it still says the memory is full. That's going back to the store, have no doubt about that. Argghh, the store is in the mall where I was!!!! Well, I'm an idiot too. Moving on then.

I got out of JC Penney without puking on anything and almost got run over by a team of old ladies. Don't you love how when 5 friends go to the mall they just spread themselves across the aisle? PICK A LANE, LADIES. I drove on straight ahead because I wasn't going to stop and start and stop and fumble around them to continue walking. They could just pick a lane. There were, as usual, hordes of teenagers, and then there were the old ladies who don't know how to dress their age. I went by one woman with her hair dyed dark and a dress and coat on that matched lengths above the knee, black tights, and black ankle boots and honestly, she'd look hotter if she took her age into consideration. Instead she decided to wear something for a 40-year old or less and look like a wannabe joke. I actually passed by that snobby 50-something year old character with the sunken cheeks and botoxed forehead and gaudy makeup you see in movies! You know, the one carrying around the dog and looking down her nose at, say, her new daughter-in-law and doing a half-british/ half-I'm not sure what accent. It was sort of funny. They actually make you?? Had no idea.

I walked back and forth in the mall looking for a Halloween store in which to buy a part of Boyfriend's costume but, alas, there was no such thing. Besides Spencers. Damn that fucking place is scary. Hot topic has become a joke but in Spencers you nearly expect someone in a hockey mask to come up behind you with a knife. I didn't mind leaving. So once I knew my search was futile I kind of meandered around, since that's what you're supposed to do at the mall anyways. Meander and buy, buy, buy. I saw the pumas I wanted in a store, greeted the clerk standing at the door, walked over and checked the price, visibly gagged, bade the clerk adieu, and walked back out. A ways away I saw a real live puma store and, naturally only expecting something worse, made my way over there to find the same shoe for five more dollars. They have so many goddamn manniquins in there that I almost jumped when I saw two real people talk and move. Ugh. On the way over there a fucking bird flew by me from the rafters and I was like "Ahh! Was that a fucking bird??" Um yes, it was. So anyways, I came out and went to turn left to wander the rest of the mall but I was so disenchanted with the mall by then that I didn't even want to see what else there was.

I was interested in one store on the way back, so I stopped there with no intention of buying anything. The store is called Teavana and its got (what else) tea and tea kettles and tea accessories and books on tea and tea cups etc., etc., etc. I mulled around and a nice saleslady asked if I'd ever been there before and I said I had, a year ago. Apparently that made me less sellable because she left me alone after that. I checked the price on the smaller version of a kettle I bought somewhere else and it was laughable (a "Teavana Exclusive!" my ass). I made my way over to the books and looked around a found a cute little square book that had a Buddhist quote for every day of the year. It was inexpensive and I liked it, so I bought it and avoided the depression that comes with leaving the mall empty-handed which is another damneable trick of the mall. The girl at the counter was nice and cheery and asked me if I wanted any tea with that, which confuses me since I had looked around the whole store already and if I wanted tea wouldn't I have picked some out and brought it up with my book? Instead of saying that I just said no and then proceeded to be even more obnoxious than I would've been had I just commented on my lack of tea and the reasoning behind my confusion over her question. My mother would've been appalled (and was when I told her about it later) but I have much less tact than my mother and in fact less tact than most people it seems and I actually had the gall to say, "Do you sell alot of this stuff?" which of course they do and she responded in kind, to which I continued, "That little shogun teapot over there is 69.95 and I got the larger one at Homegoods for 20 bucks." I knew she didn't care and couldn't do anything about it but I guess I just wanted to tell her as an fyi and maybe she might think its funny because she maybe knows how ridiculously her employer prices their items but there's also the chance that after I left she was like "did you hear what that girl just said?" to her coworker. Whatever. I was nice to her and refused a bag and thanked her and told her to have a nice day too, so hopefully I wasn't a heathen in the world of consumerism. Hey, everyone's looking for a deal. Maybe her discount is shitty. Actually compared to Homegoods regular pricing, her discount would be hella shitty no matter what is was. And the tea? I didn't check their price on that but I'm willing to bet I could buy the same tea in bulk for a fraction of what they're selling it for in cute little containers with a cheap pasted copy of a famous painting of a samurai on the front.

ANYWAYS. I got back out to my car and drove home and actually listened to half of that song from the nineties that's like "I'M COMING OUT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW, GOT TO MAKE IT SHOW- I'M COMINGG" but only because Nickelback was on every single other station I tried I swear to god. When I got sick of it (after thirty seconds) I tried again and found "SOS" by Rihanna, which I love, and stuck with that. For once I was incredibly happy to leave that plethora of consumerism which is the dreaded mall and I can assure you that I will not go near the place during Christmastime and possibly ever again. Boycott the mall!!

FIN

My Acupuncturist is Cool (and Educational)

Okay, so I was right and wrong and my acupuncturist's name is Jaq and not Jack. I'm learning that she stutters less when I don't look her right in the eyes constantly, which is convenient because i have a tendency of not looking peple in the eyes all the time while I talk to them. I tend to look at them and then all over the room and then them and then the ceiling and then them and then something that catches my eye. So I have no problem with this. She probably has more trouble with the stuttering when someone is staring her down or something, which makes perfect sense.

I'm finding that I like her better than my last acupuncturist for a few reasons. Number one is that we just seem to be on the same wavelength to begin with and the next is that she will take a needle right out if I say its still hurting. She'll try again with a smaller needle, but the point is that she immediately gives up with the original one. She is also really cool in the way she'll explain things to me and not just say, "That point is good for congestion" when I ask her abut the specific point. For example, I have told her in the past about how I had asthma until I was 8 years old. Today she asked if my palms were still sweaty, which is a really annoying and inconvenient thing that's happened on and off since I can't remember how long ago anymore. I made mention of my recent allergies which have accosted me in the nose (as usual) and the eyes (only slightly less usual). She responded to all my symptoms by asking about the sweaty palms and stating that the palms were connected to the lungs which also, of course, had to do with my asthma and allergies. I love this girl. I had no idea about that because I'm just like every other schmuck. Another thing she said was that there was redness around the needles on my back and she said this enthusiastically. Um, yeah I don't know what that means. She told me that it meant that qi was coming up around the needle points and that that was a good thing, obviously. Very cool. Lastly, I mentioned how I always have trouble with certain front points on and off but have much less trouble getting back points treated. She explained that the back is the yang side of our body which means it is in excess and the front part of our body is the yin part and we are much more protective of it, which I think can make sense even to someone who doesn't know or want to know anything about acupuncture.

Another funny thing is that she asked me if I had a new haircut and that seems to happen every couple of months while my hair is growing out, which is sort of funny. Anyways. Last night I did the majority of my Christmas shopping. I won the item on Ebay that I'm giving Boyfriend and I bought my sister and mother's gifts as well in one foul swoop. To Do lists are easy when they involve buying stuff you don't actually need. I also succeeded in picking up my Halloween costume yesterday and boy, oh boy do have some stuff to say about the mall. And surprise! None of it is positive.

I Love Bed.

Tell me you wouldn't want to sleep here. No, convincingly.

I Remember...

When I was younger I used to use my dad's nice felt tip pens to draw with. He would bring home giant piles of that printer paper with the little holes down the edges and I would be instructed to use pencil but I stole the felt tip pens every time. He bought them to do work with or math or whatever the hell it was he did. But no, I would take them from the jar of pens and use them to draw foxes and unicorns and mermaids and girls with different fashionable dresses (read: slutty clothing).

I remember that the red and black markers were always out of ink but the brown markers were always great. There was a reason for that. Now I would use any of them if it was just pouring ink, I like how smooth it is and what a nice line it makes. Back then I thought brown was a yucky color. I remember how when I drew women and mermaids with cleavage, my dad would ask why there was a "worm crawling up her chest" and how I'd get annoyed when he said what a beautiful drawing my sister had made and how she must be the artist of the house when I had just given her a drawing lesson.

I'd get irritated at those silly coloring contests they'd give kids around Easter or the xeroxed pages of Bozo the clown. I'd color it in perfectly and would get nothing. it was the kid who scrawled green all over the clown's face and made the sky purple that won. I meticulously colored inside the lines and made everything the correct color. maybe they thought my parents did if for me. ::sniff:: In talking about clowns right now I just went online looking for some and found this guy, who seems pretty cool and young. A graduate of a clown college, wtf? I should be one to know there's a college for everything out there. I like the thought of a vaudevillian act.

Speaking of clowns, my aunt dressed up as one for my fifth birthday party. I don't know how, but I didn't realize it was her until my mom told me 3 years later. She honestly looked more like a ghoul in a clown costume because she painted her face white and then made big black patches around her eyes. She had a bucket full of confetti and it was pretty funny because she scared the shit out of my mom by going into the kitchen, turning on the faucet, and then coming out and acting like the bucket was heavy and subsequently spilling the confetti everywhere. My sister was already crying because my aunt looked scary and because my sister cried at fucking everything. It was a success, all in all, and for no money, at that.

My sister cried when she got bumped out of her seat playing musical chairs at my 6th birthday party. My sister cried when Brandon spilled his orange soda on her lap at my 7th birthday party. My sister cried when my parents hired a big yellow chicken to accost my aunt at her 28th birthday party. My sister cried at our kiddie Halloween party for reasons that I can't remember. My sister cried when we jumped off the stairs into the snowpile on the bush and her leg went through into the bush and she couldn't get up. My sister cried when my parents let her up into the attic with me and my mom and she realized the attic is significantly higher than the floor and she wailed "Diddyyyyyyyy" at my dad. My sister cried at everything. She probaby cried in some episode with a mall santa like every other kid on the planet but I can't specifically remember that.

Well that post veered off in another direction, eh?

I'm Irritated By...#4

Yesterday I witnessed yet another display of human idiocy and inconsideration. Yaaay.

Dogs love to run off. I didn't really like the dogs in Italy, but I did think their behavior was better. They seemed to always be calm and they stood by their owners and just chilled even when you called to them. It was disheartening though, that they didn't even seem to want to come over and be pet. In America, dogs are crazy. People raise them to go nuts about everything. "Do you want to go on a walk??", "Hiiiiiiiiii! How was your daaaaay!?", "Oh you are so cute, aren't you?! So cute!!!", "Time to eat!!!". Its our fault. That's why I like that S.O. is so strict with his dog. I want her to be calm and able to behave. But she's reaching the terrible 2s. Of dog years. She's about 8 months and she's starting to ignore us when we tell her to come.

Yesterday, we were walking in the woods and we came up on a guy with his german shepard. They were running around like crazy, but they stayed in the area and it was fine. Then the dogs saw two other dogs walking with two women down the trail and ran there and back. The guy got his german shepard and kept him by his side but our dog kept running around like a rabbit and ran off again. S.O. was calling her and calling her and calling her and the women she was walking behind just kept walking. S.O. walked off to go retrieve her and bring her back and I sat down on a log because I had a headache. He turned the corner out of sight and I sat. And sat. And sat. ...And sat. Finally I got up and started walking after where he had dissapeared. Eventually I came to a fork and didn't know which way to turn, but I thought I heard sounds to the right and went in their direction. After another minute I ran into S.O. and the dog. He was annoyed. The women had just kept walking. Like they heard him calling repeatedly to the dog and they saw that the dog was following them, but they just kept walking. It would;ve taken no energy from them to stand still for two seconds and let him catch up and grab her but instead they ignored the whole situation. Assholes.

I suppose this was even more glaring because I helped a little old woman who reminded me of my great Aunt Rose yesterday. She had been looking at a plane and stepped on one of our speed bumps and fell on her hands and knees. The heels of each hand were bloodied and peeling and her knees were a little scraped but not badly since they'd been beneath pants. Patrick brought her and her son in and told me later that when he went to help her get up her tiny little pincher dog had attacked him and he wanted to kick the thing. I got alcohol pads that she blotted on her hands but then she'd rinse her hands in water because it stung and that was sort of funny. I put bandaids on her and she was fine but if I had seen it happen I would've had a heart attack. Its ridiculous how people can't even do something that takes no effort to help someone else out, it really is. All the women in the woods had to do was stop walking for 30 seconds. That's it. I hate people.

So besides that, I watched Kabluey with the S.O. and it was really funny. My Netflix movie was supposed to show on Saturday and its not here yet and I am annoyed. I made a drink from apples, pears, banana, kiwi and cacao pwder last night for today and forgot it in the fridge when I got up late this morning. I'm pretty sure bananas would be better blended than juiced, I think i just wasted half a banana by trying to juice it. Same for the kiwi. I'm starving and I really would like a cup of hot chocolate and I'm tired and boo hoo poor me. I'm four days away from my next paycheck and if I get really bored I just might buy the moccassins I want today. Oh, I should've mentioned that the cacao powder is really strong, bitter chocolate powder because, of course, its straight from the source. Its got alot of anti-oxidants and stuff and I'm going to mix it into my fruitier drinks. I think I might try to score some hot chocolate.

...is for Horses

Something my dad used to say:

"Let's not and say we did."

Something my mom used to say:

"Capisce?"

Something my dad used to say:

"Hay is for horses."

Something my mom used to say:

"Pork chops and appleshawsh"

Some things my dad used to say:

"Did the "ghost" do it?"

"You're not allowed to say 'I don't know' when you turn 10."

"What you see here,
what you hear here,
let it stay here,
when you leave here"

for when my parents were talking about people we knew, and I just found this-

VANCOUVER - What you see and hear in the clubhouse of the East
End chapter of the Hells Angels stays in the clubhouse, said a sign found inside
the clubhouse during a police raid three years ago.
The sign read: "What you
see here, What you hear here, Let it stay here, When you leave here."
RCMP
Cpl. Dave Poon said the sign was among dozens of items seized from the Hells
Angels clubhouse when police executed a search warrant on July 15,
2005.

Accepted

Yesterday I got accepted to the masters program I've been working towards. I guess I wasn't particularly expecting to get rejected, but in the last few days you see clearly that you never know and you're not the awesomest person in the world or anything. Then again when you stop in at the admissions counselors office and she says she needs to mail your decision letter and not hand it to you because she's not done putting it together, well I guess you can assume you're in. Suffice to say, I am excited about this quote unquote turn of events. Its not really a turn but more like a solid option. I'm also a bit more excited because Jack fixed my back and that helps along my idea that acupuncture is beneficial. I already knew it, but I had one solid success with Kat, and this is a different person and different issue so cool.

Yesterday I made a new juice out of squash, kale, apple, orange, sprouts, and raspberries. It wasn't very good and had some kick of a shit sip, but it was decent enough to chug quickly in brief intervals. My mom was like "Aw, poor C, trying to get healthy." Yup.

I got to hang out with Ali and J also before J went back to CO and Ali went up to ME for her new job. We walked around the arboretum after I explained how riding a bike around the woods might kill me. Or just embarress me. Good time was had by all I'm hoping. We stopped at an organic farmstand place and they didn't have corn, so Ali decided to just stop at Stop & Shop and tell her mom the corn was from the organic place. That was funny. J remarked on the way home that Ali was voting for McCain and she protested loudly. We talked a little about racism and abortion and how me and J are both pro-choice and death penalty, at least for child rapists, and he remarked how there are too many damn people in the world and I heartily agreed and said "I would say stuff like that more but I feel like everyone would take offense." I actually have something to say about racism in a bit, my friends have been faced with a shocking amount of it lately. I'm always surprised to find it still exists. Anyways, I just thought I'd do a short post to keep my life updated.

I'm Irritated By...#3

...people in the grocery store. Not just any grocery store- grocery stores that are slightly nice. I'm talking pretty much anything nicer than Stop & Shop, like, say, Wholefoods or Market Basket, or even Roche Bros. Now don't get me wrong, I despise pretty much everyone at the grocery store, but the people in Stop & Shop are just kind of confused; the people in Wholefoods are entitled yuppies. Let's start with one of the best parts: the parking lot. The parking lot is actually a wonderful analogy to what goes on inside the grocery store. Entitled assholes move around, get in your way, cut you off, and don't give any consideration to anyone but themselves. Wow, looks like this post is pretty much complete. But don't think I'll won't give any examples! My anger actually began when I wasn't even in the damn parking lot! I drove off the main road onto a side road that acts as a meeting place from one main road to its parallel and in the middle are various stores. I stopped before taking my left into the parking lot to give some room and let other cars take a left out of the parking lot. I think this makes sense as it is difficult to take a left out of pretty much anywhere where there is traffic and no lights and it is quite annoying sitting in a line of 10 waiting to move an inch in the ways of getting home in the evening. It also makes sense to help out and give people the chance to LEAVE the parking lot so yourself and others can easily navigate and fit in. I flasher some woman to take the oppurtunity and OF COURSE the asshole behind me beeps at me. I was ready to throw up the middle finger and I should've but for some reason I haven't started doing that quite yet. I'm trying to keep my road rage at the level its at. So I let the woman go and then make my left turn into the parking lot and tried to make it a little jumpy so the dick would stay off my back. I drove straight to the back of the lot and all the way to the far side to find a spot because things didn't look to promising near the front and I donh't mind the walk. As I closed in on the corner I came up on someone sitting and waiting. They were just sitting there, so they probably wanted a particular spot, and I drove around. I found a parking spot and wheeled on in and looked back to see what was going on with the people who'd been sitting. They were waiting for a (tiny bit older than) middle-aged woman backing a small SUV out of a spot. There was no one in the way and plenty of room between her and the waiting car but she was coming out inch by inch and stopping to pull back in and back out and back in and back out. I got out and locked up my car and she was still in the process of a twenty-point turn and her successors were STILL waiting for their spot. It was like the type of parking I did at 16 when I had barely any distance perception whatsoever except it was way worse and I was driving my dad's minivan. I was making my way down the row of cars before she got herself all the way out of that spot, I kid you not.

So I made it into the store and probably encountered a few people walking out the in door because that always happens and it pisses me off. I used to work at a chain pharmacy in high school and there were two doors at the entrance, side by side. They were identical and neither said "in" or "out" but you could pretty much always bet on that if you were wiping down one door, people would stand outside it waiting for you to finish. Sometimes I didn't. THERE WAS AN IDENTICAL DOOR TWO INCHES AWAY. This would happen on either side. I could have made a movie akin to "Clerks" about that place. So anyways. I made it in and grabbed a basket and went straight for the fish counter. I gave the owman who was already there plenty of room cause its annoying to A) Have someone up your ass and B) Watch the person next to you get called on when you were there first.* She motioned me up because she was asking her husband questions about dinner on her cell phone and the guy at the counter took care of me and my salmon. It was a good start. Then I went towards the produce. Everything got 100% worse. People jammed all the spaces between the bins with their carts and bodies and stood in one place forever looking around them like they'd never been there before. Like say you have four bins and space in between them all to walk. People think its totally cool to just park it right in the crossroads of the bins and stand there for 2 minutes. There's no one trying to get around them or anything. Me and my basket manuvered through these pinheads and failed to find asparagus. There was nasty looking white gourmet asparagus but that was it. Dude, even Stop & Shop has asparagus on a daily basis. So, since asparagus is fucking expensive enough as it is, I passed and got the default- broccoli. Can't go wrong with broccoli.
Next I made my way towards the aisles and as I passed the deli and cheese I was halted by a woman pushing her cart at negative 5 miles an hour following her 6 year old son who was pushing his own cart at about the same speed. She saw me and three other people shuffling along behind her but failed to do anything about it. I took the long way around the cheese display in a sour mood and made it by them in record time. I moved on towards the dairy and as I closed in I literally bounced off a pole as it didn't occur to me that my width was much increased by a plastic grocery basket. I lightened up a little.

I walked down the aisle trying to find the pasta sauce, which they had hidden like it was a fucking treasure hunt, and some woman in front of me saw what she wanted, parked her cart in the center of the aisle and walked over to the left, barring the largest opening there had been. Me and my basket hung tight and fumed big hate vibes in a futile effort to push her out of the way. When she finally moved I zipped around her (I showed her) and made my way to the counters. I found an open register and put my stuff in front of a boy who looked to me no more than 17 years old. he picked up my artichoke and was like, "This is an artichoke, right?" No, its a grape, charge me 5 cents. He was like the nicest person i'd run into there and it made sense since he worked there. So I left and ran into 5 more dumbasses who lose the ability to drive in a simple grid of a parking lot.

*This one time at Wholefoods, I went up to the fish c0unter where there was already an older woman and a middle aged woman waiting. The older woman was first in line, then the middle aged woman, then me. When the fish market kid was freed up, he immediately walked over to me and asked me how he could help me. The other women had clearly been there before me and I pointed to the one who was first in line and he went over to her. A second fish guy came back from break or something and came straight over to me and asked me what I needed. I pointed to the other woman and said that she'd been there before me. He helped her and finally came to me. It made me wonder how 40 year old women feel when shit like that happens. Its not very nice. Makes me not want to get old.

Saving Energy and Water

I got gas yesterday for $2.69!! Other places around had it for $2.79 and $2.75 and the one I was using on the way back from school for awhile was at $2.65 if you paid in cash, but I still wasn't expecting it from the station I like to use. I stuck to my ten dollar plan because I don't want to buy more gas than I need before the price goes down again. I got so much gas for $10 it seemed. Wouldn't it be great if it went down to a buck something? Doubtful, but everyone would jump for joy.

So I've taken to wearing a winter hat around the house. I really don't want to turn up the heat until I really have to and I wore the hat while watching my movie the other night and while reading chemistry yesterday. When I got up to make a grilled cheese I caved and put it up to 68 degrees. Also, the water bill went up $100 for the past three months which sucks. I was wondering why and my mom didn't know (obviously) and it sat in the back of my mind until I realized that for two days of every week for the whole last year I was showering at the S.O.'s. I was saving 33 bucks a month by showering with him at his place. I guess I should just try to chop my shower-time but I don't know how well that will work.

I'm a Juicer

I got up late today, but made it to chemistry on time. I managed to stay awake through it and got out without my head exploding. I'm about a half chapter behind but I'll fix that. So I drove straight to a Mobil and got my car inspected. An hour and a half later. There was a line and that sucked but I got my Netflix envelope and walked downtown to the post office. Halfway there I totally had to pee and the drawbacks of not having a car became more clear than ever to me. I walked to McDonalds and happened upon Z, who was out in her dad's truck. After I visited Mickey D's she offered to drive me to the bank which was my next stop and on the way I made roaring noises to coincide with the terrified looks on people's faces as she neared them in that monster of a vehicle. She was busy, so she just gave me a ride back to the Mobil station and left. I would've killed an hour, but thanks to her generousity, I only killed half that. So I laid down on the wooden bench in front of the station and continued reading my book on hypochrondria. I should really finish the last couple pages of my Oliver Sack's book, but I'm dumb. The guy working the counter at the station came outside and remarked that he'd never seen anyone get so comfortable on that bench. Eventually it got too hot in the sun and I moved to the shade (where it was freezing; damn you New England) and when I came back to the bench 10 minutes later I saw that my car was not there anymore. 2 seconds later it pulled around the corner in front of me with a brand new sticker on it. The guy who inspected it was really nice and I asked him about the airbag light, which has been on for a couple weeks now. He said since the car was still under warranty I should get that checked out and soon cars will start failing inspections cause of stuff like that. Every now and then I've considered getting it checked out because I keep having morbid images of myself randomly taking an airbag to the face at any old time, but then I just carry on with my life. The Ford Dealership where I can get it fixed is seriously two streets away from my house, so I don't really know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'll set something up for next Thursday. The last thing I need is to go into work looking like I was beaten to a pulp because I was too busy/lazy to get my airbags checked out.

So I drove home feeling mildly accomplished and broke out the brand new juicer. I protested the instructions to wash it before the first use, but I figured I'd be an idiot to ignore the first advice on upkeep the damn thing gave me, so I very reluctantly got that part out of the way. And then we were rolling. I chopped up a mango I had just gotten at the grocery store (where I heard from a past employer that Derek was doing well in Cape Cod- its the first I've heard of him in months) and a few carrots and got the kale out of the fridge. My mom had me buy it awhile ago but hasn't touched it. The first carrot I stuck in there got jammed and I had to disassemble (lots of "s"s, damn) the top little bit and push the carrot through and re-chop it. Besides that, though, there were no problems. the carrots made some very nice juice and I threw the mango in piece by piece and then I shoved folded pieces of kale in there and turned the whole drink a nice putrid green. I threw the pulp waste off the porch cause I didn't want it to smell up the kitchen and washed all the stuff right away cause I wanna have this thing working well for some time. The drink itself wasn't amazingly good but it wasn't bad either and its certainly something I would willingly drink every day. I'm probably going to go nuts buying organic produce at the grocery store a town over and making a ton of juice. What I made today didn't even fill the glass I had, so I can definitely make more at a time. I was also considering getting whey or powdered protein or flaxseed and tossing it in. Wheatgrass is supposed to be great for you but taste terrible. I could also mix in kelp or something and I was watching a video a girl put up of herself losing weight and she highly recommended throwing açai into your juices. I can probably find that in the health food store, but if I can't I'll hit up Wholefoods when I visit Alec. I need to cut out the sugar hardcore and up my vegetable and protein intake.

So, here's the stuff I want to improve:

Concentration
Energy
Motivation
General Physical Health
Mood
Length and Quality of Sleep
Skin

My concentration has been sucking for months. My sleep was awful when I was really stressed out and its improved now, but it could still be better and I'm certainly not someone who leaps from her bed in the morning singing Disney songs. My skin on my forehead has been gross. Not noticeably so, but noticeable to me. It started off stress-related and it stuck. My mood has been pretty damn good considering, but I'd like it to normally be really good. General physical health has been okay, but I got that cold and that sucked, so I'd like to up my immunity to illness. I definitely don't want to miss work or pass up a trip to Amherst because I feel hellish. Lastly, I want more energy and motivation so that I can want to exercise.

So now I have a few things on my plate. I want to go back to see this woman, Andy, that did the Oneness Blessing and get a one-on-one with her because I think it would be more beneficial and apparently it destressed my mom for weeks. The woman charges whatever you feel like donating and that sounds good to meeee. I'd love to do whatever I can afford to keep my stress levels down and my attention only on the things that really matter. My acupuncture with Jack yesterday was awwwesome, so I intend to do that weekly to stay "tuned up" and keep my mood good and my back from stiffening up. Only $10 cause I'm a sciences student :-D. Jack was great, I feel the need to say it again. I'm probably spelling her name wrong, I bet its like "Jaq" or "Jac" or "Jacq" or something. Whatever. I still want to get a massage at the yoga place near the health food store but that's $60, so we'll see. The juicer is my next tool and I want to start doing daily walks or practicing with my qi gong or yoga dvds DAILY. So now I'm totally rambling and being boring and my neck is starting to go to hell again and I still have Chem reading to do, so I'll cut it off here. w00t.

Owl-y

I got hooked on ebay the other day. I've always hated it simply because I don't want to bid on things, I just want to buy them. I don't want to compete with someone over the material possession I want. I found something great though, that was "Buy It Now" and it was quite reasonably priced at that. So I did. Buy it then, I mean.. So yah, I watched a video on youtube about a magician's girlfriend breaking up with him and she was wearing this giant gold thing, and I was like "what's that?" and looked a little harder and it was a giant hinged owl! Soooooo cooooool. So I bought this one and then the next day I bought another and I'm just waiting on that. Here's the one I just got in the mail. Also, my mom saw it and was like "Holy Crap, I used to have something almost exactly like this when I was a teenager."


So that was neat. I also already got that juicer. I can't believe how quick they got here. Oh and I'm getting my decision letter from school on like Friday. I hope its good. Anyways, here's the juicer. I plan to juice up tomorrow ;-P

It doesn't look exactly like that tho, mine's cuter ;)

Its About Time

So I got bagged today. I knew I wouldn't get away scotfree this time. I've escaped unscathed too many times from possible speeding tickets because I've never had a ticket before. So basically, my sticker still says "8" and its surrounded by bright slap-you-in-the-face orange. I knew they'd finally see it. 10 doesn't really look like 8. 9 did, but we're in the double digits now, baby. Honestly, I'm surprised it took them so long. I was coming back from school and was driving at a more than reasonable speed but when I went past the cop car I knew he was going to see. He pulled out and turned on the blues and pulled me over and told me he had pulled me over because of my sticker. I took a quick glance at it and back at him with a "crap." face and he asked me why I hadn't gotten it inspected yet. "I just forgot" I said, very resigned-like. He was a young guy and took my license and registration back to his car and although I let hope flit through my head I knew in my heart it was over. Ironic how all the times I've been pulled over for speeding I get a verbal warning but when I get pulled over for a sticker? Now they better crack down. That shit's dangerous.

So he came back and gave me a citation, but was very nice about it. $50. He said "If you just forgot and there's nothing wrong with the car, just get it inspected and send this back in the next 20 days asking for a hearing. They might just drop it." If that's how he felt then why did he give me a ticket? Oh well. I deserved it. So he tells me to have a good night and I pull away from the curb. He u-eys and leaves. I swear this is true- not a whole minute later I am pulled over by another cop from the same town just across the bridge. He walked over to the car and said "Your sticker is ex-" and I shoved my license, registration, citation, and hearing envelope out the window at him and said "I got pulled over not thirty seconds ago; here's my citation." He said "oh." looked it over and said "Well, I'm not going to give you a ticket for the same thing." and walked away looking quite dissapointed. I honestly wanted to apologize to him because he seemed that let down about it.

It took forever to pull back onto the road because its a very well-used route, but when I finally did I drove for nary 3 minutes before I went past a cop in a side road the next town over. It was the first time I ever sped up when I saw a cop car. I mean seriously, you're less apt to see a little sticker when its going by you a little faster, right? I thought I had made it and thought about how funny it would've been if he had pulled me over and no sooner than I jokingly made my wish, I caught sight of blues in the rearview, speeding towards me. I pulled over and he walked up, yet another young guy. They were all young. He said good evening or something and I handed over my pile of paperwork and told him "This is the third time I've been pulled over for this in the past 7 minutes." He kind of laughed and expressed surprise that I had actually been given a ticket for it. He said "Well, I wasn't going to give you a ticket because I saw you've never had one.....but I guess it has been two months..." I readily agreed, it had been two months. He laughed and said good night and I drove home, straight to a gas station and inquired about how soon I could get my car inspected. I'll be going around noon tomorrow and I bet you I'll get pulled over three more times before then.

I'm dissapointed because I got confirmation that you really do have it easier when you've never gotten a ticket before. I guess those days are over.

What the Hell

But then again.

Sigh. I wish someone would clean ths place up so we could even make accurate decisions.

I'm Irritated By... #2

...the fact that we make smokers go outside with the idea that they're harming everyone less by doing so. They're still blowing poisons and shit into the air for us to breathe, but apparently because we can't smell it, its not there. I wonder how the air smelled to the Little House on the Prairie people, or the Native Americans back when, when there were less fumes and smoke and chemicals everywhere. I bet it was pretty sweet. Not to mention, why are some drugs illegal, but nicotine is totally cool? People are getting addicted to cancerous poisons but oh, marijuana, good lord we can't have that!

Speaking of which I'm voting yes on Question 2, not cause I smoke, because I don't, but because I think its dumb that so many people get in so much trouble for something so dumb.

On November 4, 2008, we will have the chance to pass Question 2 into law –
a ballot initiative decriminalizing the possession of small amounts of
marijuana, removing the threat of jail time for possessing an ounce or less of
marijuana for personal use. Question 2 will save the commonwealth millions of
dollars in police resources each year and end the unjust policy of saddling
Massachusetts residents with a lifelong criminal record, known as a Criminal
Offender Record Information report (or CORI), for this minor infraction.

So you know. Vote Yes on Question 2 please. And No on Question 1 cause its fuckin ridiculous and my mom is a teacher. A good one, by the by.

Decrease funding for education, increasing
class sizes and cutting after-school programs.

She already has like over 20 kids in her class and have you ever tried to keep 20 kids under control? Its hard. I've subbed a few times and I was a teacher during a summer for a summer school/ camp and just 10 kids is difficult. She brings home 120 tests and homeworks to correct like every single day and even when they're multiple choice they take for-fucking-ever and I know because I've corrected some of them for her to help her out. Less afterschool programs, teachers, and higher numbers of kids in each class will be Hell on Earth. We have enough dumb kids as it is, let's keep our levels stable or improve them, not go the other way.

Goddamn Hippies and Their Sprouts

Last night I bought a juicer. Some of the cheapest ones are $100 but I looked for used ones on Amazon and found that there are stores out there selling old models brand new for cheap! So cool. I got one for just $51 with shipping and taxes included. I'm going to feed it sweet potatoes and make chips with the skins and feed it kale and apples and carrots and sprouts and all those hippie shit veggies that I don't feel like eating so I'm going to chuck the solid part and drink all the nutrients. The juicer was made for lazy assholes like me who want to be healthy but don't want to eat the right things for it haha. I should probably start documenting how I feel each day to see if it makes a visible difference.

Today I woke up and I was freezing cold. I should've used my space heater last night but, silly me, I figured when my parents hit the sack they'd turn it on. I guess you don't need heat so bad when the next day is your day off and you'll be in bed all day anyways. I walked upstairs to go to bed while they were watching futurama and drinking "hot totties" in the livingroom. I felt like yelling "You crazy kids keep it down! Some people have work tomorrow!" This is backwards. Now I know better though.

I had to scrape the frost off my window and nearly hit some guy and his dog because I couldn't see through half the windshield, but I was going like 5 mph and looking around very alert-like, so I didn't. The dog would've been a tragedy but the guy is one of those assholes who stares at me when I drive to my house so screw him. Got to work on time blah blah blah. So now I'm here and its a pretty decent day and I was just bitching at one of the guys about something that I'm about to write about.

Single Sucks

Sometime in June:

Me: You know how I can tell the pills are working?

lb: How?

Me: I can sing again.

lb: Cool.

Me: Yeah.

..

ALLLL BYYYY mY-SEEeeLLFFFF

I Shouldn't Have Said Anything

Fuck, I paid $2.89 yesterday and it was $2.83 today GODDAMNIT.

Turning Japanese

x3: I was going to ask you for a song earlier

TheC: oh? haha

x3: so good call sending that to me

TheC: yerp

x3: I need some dinner

x3: any ideas

TheC: pad thai

x3: try again

TheC: clam chowder

x3: come on

TheC: sushi

x3: are you joking

TheC: every one of those choices is super mega ultra awesome to the max and I just had chowder and wish I had sushi and <3 pad thai

x3: you gonna say cookie dough next

TheC: well have a fucking steak you goddamn blandass American

x3: shush

TheC: well tell me I didn't hit the nail on the head

x3: yeah, you did

x3: I was thinking about going out and buying some steaks earlier

TheC: so there

x3: yeah you win

TheC: I'm quoting that

Faux pas? Freudian Slip? Neither.

x3: so you are not single now

TheC: nope

x3: oh really

TheC: yup

x3: what is going on now

TheC: I'm with a tall dark and handsome guy

TheC: except make all those adjectives opposite

TheC: hahaha except the last one WHOOPS

TheC: haha

x3: smooth

TheC: yah

Cruisin' Pt. 2

Part 1 here.

I called his house later and he couldn't talk because his parents were flipping out at him and he was in fact kind of upset that I called because his mom or something was upset that I called because they were busy flipping out at him but now that I look back that seems really fucking dumb. Sorry I want to know how my boyfriend is doing after that ordeal. Pardon me for interrupting your yellfest. It was stupid because the crash wasn't even his fault. Ironically, his dad rear-ended someone in his car months later and just kind of acted very casual about it. His dad is cool so I'm sure he was just shocked that his car had been damaged. The next day I went to school and had to tell the story to everyone and his mom kept him home. Why? I don't know. There was barely a scratch on him. I was the one with a monster purple bruise on me. He was perfectly fine. Maybe she wanted to bitch more. Z accompanied me when I visited him that afternoon and his mom sat on the fucking stairs yak yak yakking and being the crazy person she is while he sat there looking at me like "please kill me." The car accident really wasn't that terrible compared to his mom's reaction to it and our complete lack of privacy and the way he basically wasn't allowed to leave the house.

Actually for her her reaction was pretty blase, it was his dad who actually freaked out, but compared to a normal person she still acted very strange. She didn't help matters, let's just say. I often wonder what the look on her face would be if I knocked on their door and said I was there to hang out with him. She hated me and she always made statements about how we got off on the wrong foot and were starting anew but I honestly never had a problem with her until she called me a slut behind my back (when I was a virgin) and made other remarks about how I never talked, even tho it was impossible to get a word in, but that's enough of that. I can deal with crazy, I think I've proved that, its just irritating when your boyfriend's mother isn't just crazy but also says things like "I wouldn't come to the wedding if you married her" and "I won't send you money if you two live in the same dorm." Uh, okay.

Anyways, let's wrap this up. I had that bruise for months, although it was many different colors over that span of time. I never knew bruises could scar, but I could touch where it had been a year later and it was painful. I still point it out when I see a stealth and I still remember "cruisin'" as being something really really fun. Oh and if he's reading this, I still point out Jesus Fish all the time. He hated that and its got nothing to do with anything but I just remembered it.

String from your tether unwinds
Up and outward to bind
I was spinning free
with a little sweet and simple numbing me.

The Sweetness Will Not Be Concerned With Me Pt. 1

To this day, I trust my ex more than anyone else sitting in the driver's seat in a car. Even though he's been in three car accidents that I know of and might have permanantly altered perceptions. S.O. makes me so nervous in the car even tho he hasn't been in an accident since he was like 17. Z tailgates like a maniac and Aurora...she's just a bad driver. Like straight up. Me and Z screamed "STOP!!" once when she was about to blow a stop sign and drive right in front of an oncoming car with right of way. I'm perpetually jumpy in her car but magically she's avoided accidents except for one and it was not her fault. But this isn't about anyone but my ex and "cruisin'".

Before we started actually seeing each other, he called me up at my dad's and asked me if I wanted to go cruisin'. He had his dad's Dodge Stealth and was going to take it for a drive. I had to argue with my dad because oh god! it was already 8pm! why did I need to go out so late?! But in the end I somehow won out and he came over and picked me up. We drove one town over and went back and forth through this narrow tiny street in the woods and blasted "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World. The song had been put to a video of rally cars and we loved it and he eventually found it after searching the lyrics and dled it. It became our song and we were all "We don't have a mushy song, thank you very much." Several times we were flying towards phone poles but he would always manuever the car and pull us out of danger. We flew over bumps in a fashion reminiscent of that one scene in Ferris Bueller and it was fun as hell.

One day, when we were going out Senior year, he came over my house, probably skipping golf club or something cause he always did. Around 3 or 4 we got in the car so he could bring me to work. At the time he was borrowing the stealth because it cost his dad less gas money to drive the Rusty Justy to work. We were going down the main road that my street came off of and were nearing another side road where a woman in a minivan was waiting to come out. She looked at us and then turned right and looked down the road in the other direction. Then she started to pull out. We went "what the fuck" and he slowed a little and it became clear that she really was going to pull out right in front of us. She took another look in our direction and seemed to actually see us this time. Her reaction? Stomp the brakes in our lane. Of course. What else would you do? Ummm. My ex stomped the brakes and made an executive decision to try to turn into the road she was coming out of which was at a bit of an angle to the main road, rather than drive across the left lane and potentially hit someone head on. Unfortunately, he and his dad had ripped out the abs brakes, don't ask me why, I don't know enough about cars. Rather than turning into her road, we skidded straight into the middle section of the minivan.

Up until this point, I literally had my arm up on the door and was sitting back in my seat without a care, assuming we would get out of this like we normally did. It wasn't until the very last second that I realized we weren't going to escape unscathed this time. I sat up, closed my eyes and screamed. I heard glass shatter everywhere and assumed our windshield was gone and probably going to cut us. When everything stopped and I opened my eyes, there was dust everywhere and he was looking at me and asking me if I was okay. I said yes and looked to see where our windshield was, only to find that it was intact. And yet there was broken glass all over our hood. He had turned off the car and gotten out to see if the people in the minivan were okay. We had blown their windows out all over our car while simultaneously bouncing them clear across the road. The woman driving the minivan had been pushed to what had been the middle of the front seat and had not been wearing her seatbelt. She was okay except for a nick on her forehead which was trickling blood and her first words were that she was sorry. Her daughter, who had been wearing her seatbelt, was fine, just shaken. He and I always made it a point to wear our seatbelts in the stealth, so we were fine except for a giant bruise on my inner right calf that I didn't even notice for a pretty long time. Later on it hurt to walk but right then I didn't even know it was there. The cops got there quickly, of course, and I sat on the passenger side of the car while they dragged the minivan out of the road. Oddly enough they measured the distance between the cars after they moved it farther away but I won't get into that now. Apparently some statie was giving my ex a rough time and when the kid got nervous he used to twitch like a motherfucker. The statie was being an asshole to him until a medic came over and was like yo back the fuck off, this kid's blood pressure is going to make his head explode. I didn't know about that until later but then the statie came over to me and started asking me questions and asked how fast we'd been going. I said we had been driving at about 43 or 44 because we'd been at 47 and then started slowing down when we saw her car. I said I had looked at the speedometer about 30 seconds before we hit. He asked if I was sure about the speed and I said "pretty sure." Then he said "Is that what you'd say in a court of law?" and I was like "What?" He was a tool.

The bumper on our car was a little smushed but that was it. We had bent the minivan sideways into a semi-circle shape and it was totalled. The medics asked me if I could let them take me to the hospital and I said I was fine because I didn't want to go anywhere or be seperated from my ex. They informed me that either I could agree to go or they could force me because of the liability if there was something wrong with me, so I said I would go. I rode in the ambulance with the mother, who was on a stretcher, and he was in the other ambulance with the daughter, whom he chatted with. In the hospital we were across the hall from each other and my leg started to hurt. I had a giant bruise at least six inches long and it fucking hurt but there was nothing else wrong with me. I don't remember how we got home.

Part 2 here.

Pointless and Documentary

On Sunday Z gave her car back. She couldn't handle the $350 a month car payments and I can't blame her because I wouldn't be able to hack that either. They wouldn't lower her rate at all and she just told them to take it away. Its a relief but its kind of sad.

Yesterday I bought gas for $2.89 at my place down the road, that was great. I'm trying to only buy every so often in small amounts so I can save a few pennies and wait it out till the price is that much cheaper. I wonder how far it will go. Probably not too much farther, but I can hope.

My mom got the electric bill for this past month. We have to keep in mind we haven't used the a/c at all but still, two months ago the bill was $315, last month it was $224, and this time it was $91. That's a pretty big improvement. I've been trying to keep lights off, use some candles for rooms that we might need to use for a second but don't need alot of light for, and unplug everything upstairs, as I've said before. After dinner I put candles in the kitchen and diningroom cause I only foresee needing to go back in there to fill a glass with water or something.

I've been sick the past couple days and went out and bought huge bottles of echinacea and Vitamin C. I think they actually made a big difference.

Last night I cut a check to Ford Credit for $500 instead of the $225 they're asking of me. Why? Because I hate them. They're money-grubbing bastards and I don't want to pay them any more interest than I have to. I'm actually really proud of myself for all that I've put into my savings account. I think besides gas and the vitamins I haven't really bought anything.

The house is making me feel like its Christmas. That's the only time every year that we really really clean it. Now I work on it every day and my parents do it up every weekend. The only thing the downstairs is really missing is a mopping. I kind of want a new tablecloth for the diningroom to liven things up, but honestly, why spend money on that. Who cares? The one on there now is pretty nice, I'm just bored of it. I should make one or something. I should try to decorate for Halloween but I don't think we have any of that stuff we used to put up at the old house. Right now I'm trying to clean my own room up and its pretty easy cause its all books and clothes.

Obviously I need to have some sort of adventure or something.

AIM Prof

I think this was my aim profile in like Fall 2006. Haha.

Z: i'm just chillin not doing much at steves
Z: maybe I shoulda stayed in the 'nard
Z: lol
C: don't kid yourself
Z: hahahahahahaha
Z: TRUE

TheC: so whatd you get for christmas?
Dave: i got a couple nice sweaters and a few pairs of pants
TheC: hey sweaters, now you don't have to go topless, slut
Dave: i have nature's sweater
Dave: i dont need the synthetic stuff
TheC: hahahahahahaha
TheC: its true

Me: So what are you getting me for Christmas?
SO: An amazingly nice boyfriend :-D
Me: And when will I be receiving him?

SO: It's like the Trifecta of Hell- I have Christmas, then your birthday in January, and then Valentines Day to buy you presents for.

Casey: I don't know what to get my girlfriend for christmas. I wanted to do no gifts but she got me one anyways, so now I have to get her one.
Me: Well, what've you gotten her in the past?
Casey: God, I don't remember, I forgot her birthday once
Me: Ugh
Casey: Yah, I'm making damn sure that never happens again
Me: What about Christmas?
Casey: Family Guy dvds, it was a last second gift
Me: I see. Well, what does she like
Casey: She watches Oprah, maybe I should get her tickets to Oprah. Hah.
Me: Why don't you get her the "Best of the Crying Scenes" Oprah dvds?
Casey: What? Are those real?
Me: Yah my sister got them for my mom last year
Casey: Ohh my God, I didn't know about this Oprah dvd action. I'm doing that.

"And rememberin' the days I pushed away your love,
You called my bluff and you still stayed around,
Yeah you figured me out
Said, you got me down
And there's no way to lie to you,
you know me better than I do"

SO: So what do you think you're gonna do today
C: Well, I need to go to Target
SO: Ah, true, when are you doing that?
C: I dunno, when are you free, I was hoping you'd come with me
SO: Is it necessary?
C: No, but the whole point of having a boyfriend is so you have company when you go for long drives.
SO: What the fuck? I'm not a stuffed animal!
C: I love you Mister Fluffy! ::big hug::
SO : Shut up! Get off me!

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Forget, all the others
Who were scared so they criticised your views
Of course you're special
And that's why you're different
And that's why life is gonna notice you


8-9-04 Burr




Uh oh, he was right, it is the 9th and not the 8th. I drilled it into his head and then I forgot. Oh well.

Skelatophobic

Today while I was walking through the kitchen at school I smelled the exact smell I used to smell (too many "smell"s) when I would open my paper bag lunch at day camp. Then it kind of turned into elementary school. And then it stayed there cause I used to eat french fries and ice cream in high school for lunch. In elementary school for the first two years (1st and 2nd grade, I mean) my mom made me peanut butter and jelly every day. I feel really bad about it now, but near the end of second grade I started throwing my pb&js into the garage barrel unwrapped because I was bored of them. I forget how my mom found this out but she was appalled (of course) and perhaps the only thing that killed her shock was that at least the custodian was picking them off the top of the trash to eat anyways. They were, after all, unwrapped. That's when my mom decided to introduce some variety into the lunchbag and so began the daily lunch with a muffin at the center. We went to Paul's Bakery downtown on the corner and I got orange muffins with those crunchy little squares of sugar on top. At school I would give each of the guys at my lunch table a little bit cause I was soooo cooool. Brian (John's brother) and Scott and maybe OJ were included in this. I bet those guys don't even remember that, but I store away details like my brain is a filing cabinet. In the same vein of being cool like/with the guys, I bought a Grateful Dead pendant in 5th grade. I didn't know it was a Grateful Dead symbol. I just knew it was a skull with a lightning bolt in it and it was badass in a way that guys thought it was badass. I already didn't care too much for chicks. Later on I started to wonder if it would bring me bad luck cause it was a skull and I'd always been afraid of skeletons, so I buried it into all my other jewelry.

Perhaps I'm the only one- no wait, Z has all these fears too- but when I was little, I was afraid of skeletons under the bed. Nevermind that I had all sorts of shit underneath my bed, boxes of toys and what-have-you, but there were apparently skeletons under there too. If I had to get up to go to the bathroom, I had to take a flying leap off the end of the bed towards the doorway and run into the hall. On the way back I had to jump from the hall to the end of the bed. And remember to never NEVER let a hand or foot hang off the bed, cause then something could snatch it. I didn't like the dark either and, contradictory to Calvin's theory of the monsters getting you in your sleep, I preferred falling asleep faster because then I wouldn't have to think about it. I protected myself by putting my covers over my head and my blasted parents continually foiled my plans to stay safe by pulling my covers down while I was asleep. Something about air; I forget. Given what I've already told you, you can imagine my chagrin after seeing "The Monster in My Closet" at school. This opened new doors, literally, because my dad had to push the door all the way open before he left my room. If it was halfway open/closed, something could hide behind it. The closet doors had to be all the way closed because something could be in there. The nightlight I had throughout my childhood was convenient for reading way later than my parents wanted me to be up, but I shut it off around the age of 11, citing that with the light off, ghosts could get me, but with the light on, a potential axe murderer could see me, and murderers were undoubtedly real-er than ghosts. Yes, this was my logic.

In addition to those fears, I disliked being in front of people. It wasn't a fear, but I still hated it. I remember a year where I was at Sewataro Day Camp with Jeremy or that god awful camp with the ants all over the field with Monika and each group was supposed to do something in front of everyone else. My group was supposed to dance to some song and we rehearsed in the mess hall. That was kind of fun, but when we got to the point where we were to do this in front of a giant audience, I came to terms quickly with the fact that this was going to be the gayest thing ever and as my group started dancing (individual and separate dances at that) I inched myself around a giant tree at the back of the "stage" and stood there until the song was over, sparing myself inevitable humiliation. I doubt 50 8 year olds would've thought of my dance as any worse than the rest of the white kids jumping around me, but I wasn't gonna go for it. As a side note, I totally redeemed myself at Camp Becket as one of the last two people of my group onstage, singing a three sentence duet with Meredith.

So anyways, I was at school when I thought of this. Everyone walks around with their little packs of needles and moxa and yaks about particular points and I'm here doing science courses and I realized the science courses have totally been killing my passion for this field. I've been going through the motions like with everything else and thinking of another three years here as me being apart from S.O. for another three years and me not being able to live where I want (like Amherst) for another three years. Originally I was excited about going to the school and I really like this area most of the time, en0ugh to spend three more years around here anyways, as long as I'm doing something cool. I've been going here for almost two semesters now and the problem is that I'm starting to consider the school a place to go for Chemistry and Physics and not a place to learn about Chinese medicine and all that shit I like to read about. Fuck you, Chemistry! You're making me sad!

Chemistry really does suck tho. My teacher is useless, he just reads from the slides. I might as well not even go to class. To make matters worse, I was sick today and was up and down to get tissues from the bathroom and I hate being that person. I still have to finish my chapter from last week and half of it is totally incomprehensible to me. There are tons of practice problems and I don't even get the basics that I need to know to do them. Stupid Chem, I was supposed to be able to avoid these courses. Thankfully, after I finish that and the other chapter, I only have two chapters in Physics and I actually understand some of that bullshit. I'm seriously considering not taking any sciences next semester, or maybe just one if its on an evening I have work. That way I can actually go see S.O. on my days off and feel like I had any kind of break from my job. I'd like to pick up more overtime too. Oh money, the bane of my existence. Kind of.

Maybe I'll go out for one night next week, but it gets more doubtful all the time.

Various and Sundry and Hawaii

I don't know why, but I woke up this morning unhappy with my surroundings. Its unusual, because I've been so happy that its fall and its cool out. Sort of funny thing; a couple customers came in the other day and asked if I could get them some hotel rooms. I said I would call around but just so they knew, it might take a few minutes because everything was booked up for reasons beyond me. One of them said "Oh, I bet alot of people are up to see the New England foliage" and they laughed when I said I hadn't even thought of that. "So used to it you don't even notice." Sort of, I guess. I appreciate it but my mind doesn't jump to that people are travelling here to see it.

Anyways, I was ardently wishing for Hawaii. Of all places. I don't even like summer that much, but when I saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" a few months back, I totally needed to visit Hawaii. Now that I'm saving more money maybe I'll take a trip there for a Qi Gong Grandmaster Liu thing next summer or something. He has a few spots in Hawaii and if I made it a week long thing I could do his courses and just bum around and enjoy myself. That would rock, I would love to go there.

::Update:: Salty and I just vowed to save a couple thou and go next summer. Woot. Who's in??

So I'm watching the debate, of course, and I really need to take a piss, but apparently there are no commercials during this thing. Goddamnit. Yes, that's where I was going with that sentence and I'm sorry. When I watched the VP debate with Al and Salty we started drinking whenever Palin said "maverick". If I were drinking this time I would drink everytime McCain either said "angry" or winked. That's all I have to say about that right now as I'm watching this second.

I'd like to document here, just for myself that gas costs $2.89 a gallon in the cheapest spots and $3.19 in a few others, but the majority seem to have come down to $2.99 or $3.09. Just two or three months ago we were at $3.99 or over. Unfortunately, the stock market still sucks but if I ever want to look back at that I can just search the web for this month and go "holy shit, that sucked!"....you know, hopefully. Hopefully it only gets better.

Anyways, this was a little random and pointless. Oh well.

Hickey #1

I've decided to record on here everytime I get questioned about my birthmark. Today is October 14th, 2008 and this is the first time I will be officially documenting this. At 12:25pm today a customer asked what was wrong with my neck and when I answered him honestly, he decided to go ahead and make some stupid comment anyway- "Oh, I thought you'd been getting a little over-passionate, hehe." I just said "heh, no." and he finally got the message to just drop it.

I wish I'd started this a long time ago. The Dunkin's Girl who said "Gnarly Hickey", the pilot who, after I made it awkward, said "Good thing I wore clean boots today..since I was going to be putting my foot in my mouth" and redeemed himself, and that guy who was escorting a band who flirted with me afterwards. Bobby.

"If I Had a Million Dollars"

If you handed me...

99 cents: I would put it with the rest of my change in the babyfood jar or into me and Al's "Date Jar."

$10: I would put it in my car to buy gas.

$50: I would put it in checking to go towards my cell phone bill.

$100: I would pay towards the principle of my car.

$200: Same.

$500: I would finish paying my car insurance for the year and pay towards the principle of the car w/ the rest.

$1,000: Fin car insurance for the year, pay towards the principle of the car.

$10,000: Throw it all at the stupid car.

$15,000: Fin the damn car, and put the last $4,000 towards tuition loans.

$20,000: Subtract all but next to nothing off the car and tuition loans, and pay for a course.

$50,000: Let's assume about $20,000 goes towards what I've already mentioned. Now I'd pay up front for the first year of Acupuncture School and visit the Qi Gong Center in California. I could also pick up my mom's mortgage for a couple months or knock a couple thou off of Al's tuition loans.

$100,000: Pay off car and tuition loans, pay straight cash for one school year, erase two years of mortgage for my mom, invest 2,000 in a place or two, put 17,000 in savings, go do some qi gong stuff in Cali, and put about 9 grand towards Al's tuition loans and Z's school or legal costs.

Ai yi yi.

$500,000: All that plus one more year of school for me in cash, a whole year in Cali, trips to Portland, Ireland, Portugal, London, Germany, some more towards Al's loans, more towards mom's mortgage, more towards Z's education and more investing and the ability to be jobless.

A Cool Million: All of that and pay off my mom's house completely and pay off Al's loans completely and buy Z everything.

Money, Money, Moooney, MONEY

Friggin' Answer Me, What?

"Thank you for calling -----------, This is C, how may I help you?"

"P--ts Department"

"Parts Department?"

"...................................-"

"I- I'm sorry, Parts Department?"

"Yes."

"Okay, one moment."