"If I Had a Million Dollars"

If you handed me...

99 cents: I would put it with the rest of my change in the babyfood jar or into me and Al's "Date Jar."

$10: I would put it in my car to buy gas.

$50: I would put it in checking to go towards my cell phone bill.

$100: I would pay towards the principle of my car.

$200: Same.

$500: I would finish paying my car insurance for the year and pay towards the principle of the car w/ the rest.

$1,000: Fin car insurance for the year, pay towards the principle of the car.

$10,000: Throw it all at the stupid car.

$15,000: Fin the damn car, and put the last $4,000 towards tuition loans.

$20,000: Subtract all but next to nothing off the car and tuition loans, and pay for a course.

$50,000: Let's assume about $20,000 goes towards what I've already mentioned. Now I'd pay up front for the first year of Acupuncture School and visit the Qi Gong Center in California. I could also pick up my mom's mortgage for a couple months or knock a couple thou off of Al's tuition loans.

$100,000: Pay off car and tuition loans, pay straight cash for one school year, erase two years of mortgage for my mom, invest 2,000 in a place or two, put 17,000 in savings, go do some qi gong stuff in Cali, and put about 9 grand towards Al's tuition loans and Z's school or legal costs.

Ai yi yi.

$500,000: All that plus one more year of school for me in cash, a whole year in Cali, trips to Portland, Ireland, Portugal, London, Germany, some more towards Al's loans, more towards mom's mortgage, more towards Z's education and more investing and the ability to be jobless.

A Cool Million: All of that and pay off my mom's house completely and pay off Al's loans completely and buy Z everything.

Money, Money, Moooney, MONEY